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On a little ship called, "Singapore".

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The ultimate feedback and Singapore e-forum

Tired of various e-forums for feedback on Singapore? Save time! Here in a convenient one stop location is the distilled complaints of all the feedback you can find in all forums on Singapore, by Singaporeans in a top ten list format.

Heeeeere we go:

10 National Service and why women should do it, and how it’s so unfair to the men, and how it’s all pointless anyway because in the event of the war, we (i.e. NS men) would run away, because we’re not so stupid as to die for a country that won’t let us chew gum, install satellite TV, walk around naked in our own flat (which is actually leased from HDB anyway), buy a car without COE, and basically let me do what I want.

9 How the COE/ERP/HDB/CPF/(fill-in-the-blank) rules or procedures should be changed so that *I* will benefit.

8 The Education System. How it sucks. Why it sucks. And let me tell you: it sucks. That is why I’m going overseas to study/have gone overseas to study/will emigrate to another country to spare my children the agony of the sick, retarded Singapore education system that makes mindless automatons/uncaring elites unable to take risks, or identify opportunities, or contribute meaningfully to discussion except to moan and complain about why the Government should do something… and… Oh God! I’ve become a product of our sucky education system!

7 We hate PAP/the Government/the Bureaucracy/over-paid civil servants and Ministers because they are just out oppress us and ram hateful policies down our throats, and it’s very difficult to give feedback with their fist down our throats, and how it’s all a conspiracy to keep the PAP in power, and even when they get their damn fists out of our throats its only so they can cover their ears while they pretend to listen to our “feedback” which is basically us vomiting out the policies that they have rammed down our throats. And did we mention: we hate PAP.

6 The high cost of Housing/Public Transport/Hawker food/Water/Electricity/Gas/Viagra/Healthcare/ Education/Rent/etc… and how the service/product quality has fallen… and the Government just don’t understand or don’t want to understand the problems of the people, and are just interested in making themselves look good. I mean what’s the point of being the #1 port in the world when our bus and train fares keep going up?

5 The number of [crime-of-the-month/social-disease-of-the-month/my pet-peeve] has reach epidemic proportions and we must take Drastic Measures to curb/control these social miscreants. We must tax/control/ban/jail/ hang/cane them so that Singapore will be a better place to live in safety, security, contentment, and Bliss.

4 PAP is the Best! [Lee Kuan Yew/Goh Chok Tong/Lee Hsien Loong/Name your favourite political leader] is GOD. Anyone who cannot see the innate goodness of PAP, the Government, Singapore Inc., and our Political Leaders are obviously degenerate, over-liberalised, westernised, radical, retarded, cry-babies, who won’t know a good thing if it fell in their laps. (Note: such posts are usually flamebait - meant to draw out the degenerate, over-liberalised, westernised, radical, retarded cry-babies who don’t know to ignore red-flagged flamebait meant to suck them into a meaningless exchange of words which will only raise their blood pressure, reveal their inadequacies and insecurities, turn the air blue, and reduce the credibility of the forum and the participants.)

3 Personal attacks on other forum participants, which may include denigration of their intelligence, mental capacity, and/or comprehension ability, as well as the insinuations as to one’s sexual orientation, sexual adequacy, parentage, and/or lineage, affiliation to PAP/PAS/Malaysia/USA.

2 We hate Malaysia/Malaysian Politicians/Malaysian media! They want to skin us like a cat, cut our water supply, steal our business, interfere in our land reclamation, take our lighthouse islands, and even send a delegation of their religious fanatic opposition to interfere in our domestic affairs. We should boycott Malaysia, stop shopping in JB, and spit out the water we drink! (unless it’s bottled water from Indonesia - but we hate Indonesia too! They call us a small red dot, accept our food and medical aid one day, and condemn us the next for not giving them free money. We should stop going to Batam! Go to Australia or China for holiday! (Except that we hate those foreigners too! Those damn foreign talents are taking our jobs, dating our men/women and marrying them for their (CPF) money, raising the price of housing, and keeping me from getting married/promoted! )) We hate Malaysians/Indonesians/Foreigners

1 Singapore is such a boring place. There’s nothing to do here. Our national pastime is shopping, eating, and complaining. We have no arts. We have no sports. We have no leisure. We have no soul. We have no spirit. We have no buzz. Our movies are censored. Our lives are predictable. Our thoughts are controlled. Why don’t the government just let me be me? In fact, they should give us incentives to be ourselves. The should set up a “Fund to have Fun”, and a “Be Me” Bonus. Or maybe a “Give me money so I can leave Singapore to go somewhere where I can be myself” fund. Singapore is so Boring.

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