It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness...
But it is a far, far better thing to blow out the candle, embrace the darkness, and get some well-deserved rest.

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach him to fish and very soon, all his neighbours will want to learn how to fish and the seas will be depleted and we'll run out of seafood in 40 years time!

If you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
If you have a gun, everything looks like a target.
If you have a bottle of tequila, efvrythig loops jaz grat.

So I got this letter of appointment when they hired me. I wonder if they'll give me a letter of disappointment when they fire me.

If all the world's a stage... I wish they'll hurry up and call a rehearsal. I dunno what I'm doing.

The one good thing you can say about men is that we have never used sex to get what we want... Sex is what we want!

Life is too short to spend making enemies. Eternity is too long to spend with the enemies you made.